Bold Request

Week two and we’ve been given some more tasks. I am feeling a little overwhelmed. Don’t feel I completed all of the last lot, would quite like time for them to percolate, and now I am not sure in what order to tackle what seems like an avalanche of new ones, even though it’s actually only a few.

Although: on the Bold Request I am (from a very, very low base) ahead of the game. Woohoo!  Yes, last week, before there was any talk of it, I even posted it in the FB group, hoping it might do for my Roosevelt Action, so there’s proof! (I am feeling like the class swot.)

Screen Shot 2016-06-11 at 19.03.26

I realise of course that this doesn’t let me off the hook. As the coaches say, it’s a muscle that needs to be exercised. The fact that I felt the tiny example above to be noteworthy just goes to show how out of shape that muscle is. It was such a trivial example, too. I’d agreed to meet a friend for lunch; we were both happy to host or meet in a third location, so my first text basically left it up to her. But then a little flea mentally tugged at my sleeve and I thought: actually, I would prefer to go there. Which in itself is astonishing, as I ALWAYS prefer to have people to my place. Because I like feeding people etc? Because I like being in control? Because in some inexplicable way it is less embarrassing? I’m not even sure what that one means! So a few seconds after my text saying ‘whatever you prefer’ I wrote back with ‘I’ll come to you’. And what I felt while doing it was… greedy. As though I was saying ‘I want YOU to do the work for ME. I want you to have to tidy up, do some shopping, make my lunch and pay for it’. Which is what I often do for others, of course. She’d said that she would like my advice about her garden. First reaction: ‘Yikes! What? I don’t know enough to offer anyone any advice about their garden! And what if I somehow manage, with my advice, to make a mistake, or even somehow to offend?’ But I found I DID want to do it.  Well, reader, you will be less surprised (I daresay) than I was, to learn that it turned out I really was able to add some value.  I do know more about garden design and plants and maintenance than my friend. Well I never!  And we had a lovely time, and laughed about all sorts of things and I was delighted to be back in touch with her.

So anyway, for the actual task, I have to ask a stranger. I can’t think of anything I want from a stranger right now. So maybe I will go for the spontaneous version. I feel crippled with embarrassment already.  And yet, a little frisson….

PS the other day in the gym some woman I don’t know from Adam greeted me warmly.  I was perplexed.  Then she asked if she could borrow 20p.  I happily gave her the coin.  I wonder if she was one of us?!

 

Photo is of a pavlova – what I am generally asked to bring to parties.  Borage from the herb garden in the old house.

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Florence Feynman

I am a middle aged, middle class woman, thinking.

2 thoughts on “Bold Request”

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