For a couple of months now, we’ve been asked to examine what we like, what we are interested in. To create an ideas bank. Like jigsaw pieces tipped out, with no picture on the lid.

My ideas bank had a load of unrelated stuff; they all did, I guess. As instructed, I added to it continuously as things occurred to me. And at the appointed time, I even sorted it out. I didn’t think my ragbag would be sortable, but with a bit of creative license I made six groups, with only a few random leftovers. The leftovers included things like working with others (both: needing colleagues for company and support, AND meeting people rather than just beavering away without external input), also organisations and causes I admire or enjoy, like the Forgiveness Project, The School of Life and (of course) Radio 4.

  • Curating, including floristry, gardening and art (‘make look nice’)
  • Wellness, including AT and anxiety
  • Comedy and writing and books
  • Travel
  • Academia
  • Research, analysis, investigation

There is nothing I can think of that incorporates all of these.  And if there were, no reason to suppose I could do it. I need something I am good at, and enjoy, and can be paid for, if there is such a thing. Don’t be unrealistic, or greedy (in other words) is what I was telling myself. I still think that.

After all, people are not defined just by the paid work they do. Plenty make ends meet with mundane jobs and spend their free time doing what they love. Baking, dancing,  historical re-enactments, train spotting, needlepoint, esperanto, leading the scouts… You get my drift. And yet.

‘Out of intense complexities intense simplicities emerge.’
– Winston Churchill

The course (part one) is over. It’s gone all quiet for now.

And I find that the thing I really, really want to do is write a book I have had in the back of my mind for years now, but which appeared nowhere in my ideas bank. It’s one of many books I’ve thought of over the years.  It might never happen of course, and I also know that I can’t rely on it to pay my bills. I’ll tell you more in due course.

But what an idiot I have been!

It’s a book that would be based on my interviewing people. How can I not have realized that this would tick so many of my boxes? I know I’ve never written a book before, but this is something I will enjoy and be good at. Bet you never thought you’d hear me say that, eh? Me either. I’m so excited!


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Florence Feynman

I am a middle aged, middle class woman, thinking.

One thought on “D’oh!”

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