Beyond the Facts – the Screaming Heebie Jeebies


Me? A nanny???

Further to my previous post about a job I’m applying for, where I listed pros and cons.  I can make lists all right, but my brain is zinging with shrill noise.


‘That’s not what people like me do!’

‘Not what I did my MBA for.’

‘What would my friends say?’

‘Have I really fucked things up so badly that I’m now looking for a job for which I need no qualifications at all?’

‘Why do I care about qualifications?’

‘Yes, I have fucked up.’

‘Who cares what anyone thinks?’

‘The people I went to university with are RUNNING THE COUNTRY!’

‘Can I really not make better money than this?’

‘Why do I care?’

‘What if something happens to one of the children in my care – isn’t it safer to get a job in a supermarket?’


Are some of the things that are screaming between my ears. Natasha’s lenses may be at play here. But that doesn’t help me to know my own mind.



Image: part of a stained glass window by Gerhard Richter, Cologne cathedral.


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Florence Feynman

I am a middle aged, middle class woman, thinking.

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