Me? A nanny???
Further to my previous post about a job I’m applying for, where I listed pros and cons. I can make lists all right, but my brain is zinging with shrill noise.
‘That’s not what people like me do!’
‘Not what I did my MBA for.’
‘What would my friends say?’
‘Have I really fucked things up so badly that I’m now looking for a job for which I need no qualifications at all?’
‘Why do I care about qualifications?’
‘Yes, I have fucked up.’
‘Who cares what anyone thinks?’
‘The people I went to university with are RUNNING THE COUNTRY!’
‘Can I really not make better money than this?’
‘Why do I care?’
‘What if something happens to one of the children in my care – isn’t it safer to get a job in a supermarket?’
Are some of the things that are screaming between my ears. Natasha’s lenses may be at play here. But that doesn’t help me to know my own mind.
Image: part of a stained glass window by Gerhard Richter, Cologne cathedral.