So, the worst has happened. I did what I always feared: I asked for what I wanted. The thing that always stopped me doing it, the fear I would be told ‘I hear you and I don’t care’ has been realised. But nobody died. And maybe I got what I needed. Hmm. Continue reading Not Getting What You Want
Back to work yesterday and it didn’t seem as bad as before, something had shifted. A few months of therapy, a few years of thinking and talking, and a week’s retreat. Finally starting to unravel the habits of a lifetime. Continue reading Asking For What You Want
Within a matter of days I signed two contracts – one for a full-time job, the other to write a book. Continue reading Barely Brushing My Teeth.
Twelve hours or more I am out of the house these days; long days at work and an extensive commute. I arrive home tired, have to shop, cook, iron and so on, deal with rats and leaking roofs and the tax office, and – this week – my son forgetting to turn up to one of his exams, which necessitates more paperwork and cost than you would imagine. I try to squeeze in time to write another chapter of the book, already behind schedule, but luckily with an understanding publisher. Continue reading Having a Dog and Barking Yourself
My annex is occupied by two young French women. They seem very nice. I think the idea must have been to get jobs and learn the language, but, by the sounds of it, they are usually at home. Continue reading Fear of Rejection or Cutting Your Nose to Spite Your Face
On the phone to an old friend/colleague/lover after over 20 years. He knows I need work. He might offer me some. Continue reading There Comes A Point When You Just Can’t Afford That Shit
You know all those people who tell you that if you chant about wanting a yacht, or write it in a little book or scrap of paper, you’ll get one? What a load of crap. Continue reading The Power of Visualising Your Dreams