What Is The Point Of Living?

A friend, when my boyfriend was in HK and I was in London, used to take me to things. We saw Debora Harry (Blondie) in concert. And various comedians whose names I forget, although one was quite famous. I miss that friend.

Feeling Weepy Today

I don’t know. I feel hopeless and overwhelmed and weary. Maybe it’s partly because it’s my birthday tomorrow, an anniversary which has had me feeling maudlin every year I can remember, as a teenager and perhaps even earlier than that. I don’t remember ever thinking ‘Yay! I’m a year older!’ even when I went into double digits.

Kicking The Bucket

Lately I find myself thinking a lot about the fact that my mother will die soon. I admit I have been thinking this for a while, especially as she has spent every minute for as long as I have known her, convinced that she is on the way out. Imminently. So why bother.

How Did You Cope With That?

My mother checked out some time ago.

‘How Was Florence?’

I’d driven 45 minutes to get to my mother’s house. The rest of the weekend had been spent largely in bed.

A Roof Over My Head

When my husband walked out on us he left a note on the doormat to announce his departure. Amongst other things, he said in the note that the children and I could keep the house and he would ensure that our standard of living would not be affected.

Oh FFS

Searching for something else I found this very old (two and a half years ago) email written to myself (why?). Subject: ffs.

Easy to forget how things were, the forgotten details, you get brought up short.  

Sleep Eludes Me

The thought of sharing a bed now is absolutely abhorrent.

Distractions

Not made much progress as a careershifter in the last few days.

My bollockheaded former husband has not paid the pitiful amount of maintenance he is obliged to make under the terms of our Consent Order while we still have children of school age.