Powerful Olfactory Memories

In a few short years the world has changed beyond recognition in a million ways large and small. So when I learned that my children (and their dad) were going to the funeral of their maternal grandmother’s partner and I started musing on the past, I was able to satisfy my curiosity in a way that would have been unthinkable until now.

Whitewash

Tears sprang to my eyes. I was in a crowded carriage reading The Cost of Living by Deborah Levy.

Every Year You Say Never Again

One of my favourite xmas cards ever, seen many many years ago, had Santa, evidently whacked, in an easy chair, arms and legs akimbo, drink in hand. Behind him, Mrs Claus is saying ‘Every year you say never again.’

O Tannenbaum

Crying listening to The Archers, of all things.  I cried when I heard it the first time and again during the Omnibus. 

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

A man I have known all my life died recently in his 95th year. It’s hard to be very sad when someone passes at that age, and still all there mentally, despite failing eyesight, hearing etc. So it was more a case of celebrating his life.

Home

One of the things that I still hold very much against my ex is the loss of a family home for my children.  

Bittersweet Memories

The problem with being old – or as old as I am – is that there’s an overabundance of memories.

Family Holidays of Old

For the children, it’s the first glimpse of the sea. They know when it will come, but fight even so to be the one to call it. Then we all break into song Si si si si doloda, yaku sineladu banaha.  

That Was The Good News.

I used, when it all kicked off, to send myself emails as things occured to me. (I still do.)  And now, sometimes when I am looking for other things, I find them. They give me a jolt – I have usually forgotten the incidents and thoughts. And they make me cry.

Staring Loneliness In The Face. And Loving It.

I have been dreading the empty nest.  For over 20 years I have been a mother, and really, nothing else.  This was a mistake on many levels, but there we are.  Now my twins are 18 and off to uni.